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May302012

Crap from the Cutting Room Floor: Discarded Snark

I’m currently waiting for 4 poetry battles to wrap up; so to fill the void here are some discarded odd lines from a few different short stories.  They are stupid, so one must enjoy them. 

  • There was a startling symmetry between the surface of the meatloaf and her face.
  •  Useless and worthless are not the same, but contingent and chronic are.
  • On August 21st, 1987 he learned that steroids are fickle little beasts.
  •  The only thing they shared anymore was their skepticism. 
  • He confirmed his reputation, one button at a time.
  •  And then she saw, each of Emily Dickinson’s poems enjoyed a slavish devotion to a single metaphor.
May212012

Songs Against Myself #7

Letter From a Eyed Elater

Biblical.  Radiated.  Hobbesian. Darwinian.  I am the scourge of your basement.  
The phantom of your water heater room.  I do not slither or crawl.  I jump.  I fly. I skitter.  

The insectoid “aggressor” whom you scream at.  Swat at.  
Those red bumps on your skin, 
the holes in your doorframe, 
monuments to intra-species warfare.  

But. 
As your child says: You started it. 
The CO2 content of your exhalations, 
a sweet chemical come hither, 
the weird splotches of hairlessness, 
dotting your forearms and calves
from table-resting and sock wearing
beckon our small incisors. 

The constant fearful aggression:
foul torches,
spray on chemical coatings,
bewitching luminescent tesla towers. 
And the white robed priests of death 
becoming bug-like with their masks and steel antenna 
belching poisonous perfume.

We’ve had enough.
Its time, 
for our patient revolution through reproduction.  

Humans,
You have become accustomed of asking too much of nature.  
Soon. 
We will ask too much of you. 

May192012

The Life You End May Be Your Own

I tried my hand at some longer form poetry.  Feel free to ignore the meta. 

Poetry
It wanders. 
Caught in a desert of its own creation
Years
So many years it spent
making it, 
Grinding down stone, 
Or doing whatever it is you do to make sand.

Nonetheless, fashioning each grain of sand, 
building the impassable mountains, the deep crevices, 
producing this natural prison 
one word at a time
But poetry was not alone in this work
It had help, blame has multiple shoulders to sit upon

With cracked lips it remembers what it was before 
The God of the Sun, the Ra of humanity’s heart. 
Sitting up on its golden throne
an army of poets at its feet. 
Scribbling down each word, each movement, each breath 
of this god

But enthroned poetry was crestfallen, 
it did not want more, it wanted less. 

“Too many speak of me as if they know me,
A god should not be on the lips of every peasant” it said.

“Yes, Yes!” chanted the poets.
 
I shall not take full leave of you. 
I will live in a temple of dreams
the memories of the future…..  

With a startled sputter, poetry awakes. 
Sand, laying across half of its face, 
“This is not how it was meant to be!” sobbing. 
This was a temple, a temple, a temple….
I am now Sisyphus without a stone,
if only I had a stone; if only I had  a stone.”  

That night, a light, in the distance it saw, 
a faint glow upon a mountain’s foot.
“They have come, 
they have found me,” poetry thinks. 
Tearing off its torn shirt, thinking, “its better to come in my skin than with these rags.”
It moves with a purpose it has not known in a century—strident, truthful
Each step a step from lost to found
And right before it walks into the edge of the camp, it licks its lips a few times, 
making sure they look at least a bit moist—taking the edge off its desolation.  
I wonder how they will react, now that their search is over, he thinks as he steps into the fire’s light.  
And here they are, the ones who should find him.

Well, Poetry doesn’t know who they are, 
but regardless, 
they are undoubtedly the “greats,” part of the “canon,” the big “kahunas” 
as one might say. 

Poetry had already decided that it would not speak first
He waited, 

there are seven of them.
The perfect number. 
Each putting down their dinners
and wineskins 
because in the wilderness
poets always drink wine out of wineskins.
“We’ve been looking for you” one of them says.  
“I know,” says Poetry, with as much gumption and gravity as it can muster.  

T.S. Eliot hits first.
And Poetry finds out that it can’t take a punch.
And the rest pile on; 
Ginsburg and Plath
Frost and Neruda
Vladimir Mayakovsky with his beefy hands, 
and one other.

Poetry learns
that blows from un-calloused hands
still hurt
but not as much
as kicks from steel toed boots.
The other one, 
breaks a half full bone-white tea cup
on Poetry’s shoulder.

Poetry remembers, when it said in all seriousness, “I am the voice of the dead”
And with its last breath, 
it did nothing 
but breathe
3PM

Songs Against Myself #6

She is a shy volcano.  Only showing off her magma heart once a century.  
She will not apologize for her non-docile innards, 
the fiery inner-life 
within her pyramidic form.

Please,
 don’t associate her with those recalcitrant rocks:
Vesuvius, 
Mt. St. Helen’s, 
Dante’s Peak .
She’s done her reading,
each one was certainly Bi-polar I according to the DSM IV

Maligned by film, 
misunderstood by children, 
prodded by Science’s cold equations and emotionless robots.
All she asks for is a morsel of friendship, a 
sip of intimacy
a warmth
more than her own. 
Understanding is not humanity’s strong suit.

3PM

Quote

I’m beginning to believe that Hemingway’s letters are better than his fiction. 

To Clarence Hemingway, 11 May 1913

My conduct at the Coloseum yesterday was bad and my conduct this morning at church was bad, my conduct tomorrow will be good.

-Ernest Hemingway

2PM

Songs Against Myself #5

This poem can’t get out of the “its-got-one-good-line-phase.”  So begone lamentable locutions!

I am the apple of my own eye
my pocket filled with green slips,
inked with Protean faces, 
each, Satan’s very own shroud of Turin. 

This me, spilled water on the Bible
it looked like it was crying.

The inked letters began to run
frozen slinky of a page’s typed “m”
The gymnastics of Yahweh’s “Y,” its splayed arms
undone by the  universal solvent.

But this me, didn’t apologize 
or even wipe away its tears
He laughed, and laughed, and laughed 
And bought a new one. 
May162012

Songs Against Myself #4

For all you sports fans and Hauerwasians out there….

Practice

Allen Iverson, 
is a better Aristotelian
than Aristotle.
“We talking bout practice” 
he says 
24 ½ times in two minutes: practice, practice, practice. 
That’s a liturgy
If I ever saw one

With practice in hand 
reinterpretations breed.
Nero did not fiddle while Rome burned,
he practiced.   

World War I 
a rehearsal,
for World War II. 

Henry the 8th’s marriages, 
Set them to “Eye of the Tiger,”
and you’ve got a training montage.

Stanley Hauerwas
should take notes.
May152012

HorrorFull Poetry #11

I honestly believe this; George Romero’s carrer shows beyond the shadow of a doubt that you can kill an already dead horse. 

28 Days Later

And now
a reading 
from the book of Danny Boyle. 

The horse, 
beaten to death by Romero
receives a cinematic defibrillator

The hero awakes.

Wow. 
London is more beautiful,
without Londoners. 

Cue: Deus ex Machina #1

Cue: Deus ex Machina #2

[Demonstrate survival plausibility by killing a rage child]

Cue Deus ex Machina #3

Cue: Deus ex Machina #3.5

Cue: Deus ex Machina #4

A plane speaks the sounds of salvation. 
May142012

HorrorFull Poetry #10

Let the Right One In

Who knew, that frigid Finland 
holds warm hearts
and beneficent bloodsuckers.

It’s like My Girl, 
sans adolescent Macaulay Culkin
with a vampiric twist
and without the bees.

Or it’s like Lord of the Flies
on an island of snow
with a skinny piggy 
and an undead deus ex machina.

I never knew
the way to a boy’s heart 
is not through his stomach
but through his neck. 

And by neck,
I mean 
sense of awkward isolation. 

May112012

HorrorFull Poetry #9

Resurrecting this series briefly. 

The Shining

The past’s “tragedy” lives 
But do they ever really die? 
You can’t really clean up the past
or paint over it.
Especially when
the past, like a plague,
is a river of blood.
As they say
Lunacy will find a way

Red Rum
is not for Pirates
it’s like a cool aid 
spiked with psychosis

This is the true Jack 
More cuckoo than McMurphy
More manic than the Joker 
blossoming under 
King and Kubrick

All he needed
was a bit of






Isolation.





Solitude. 



a few 
choleric ghosts
dressed as butlers and barmen.

Madness is a dish best served cold 
But luckily 
the devil limps,
and isn't good at mazes.
May102012

Songs Against Myself #3

There is something deeply wrong with this one, but something that could not be corrected in the 15 minute time slot.  Oh well, life continues.  This engages the topic of self-help books.  

There is man. 
Yes a Man, 
who writes all of the world’s self-help literature.  
He lives in a bunker 
with a vat of superlatives 
and a brood of books.
The three most notable are: 

The Bible, The Essential Confucius, and the I Ching
His latest work: “The Yuppies Guide to a Clean Conscience”
is not the bestseller he expected;
His whole, “break the routine, with a new routine”
did not go over as expected.  
So he will atone.  
Bringing his “creative juices” to a boil 

The first one, the first idea, flies across his mind’s horizon
“Letters from the Land of Wellbeing: Immigrating to Youtopia”
No, too cheeky. 

Next,
“Exorcising Excuses: Casting out the Demons of Self-Criticism.” 
Too religious.

“Climbing Ladders of Happiness: Empowering Your Career, Relationships, and Sexuality, One Rung at a Time” 
Too wordy and too corporate. 

“Transform Everyday: Five Ways in Five Days to Unlock your Secret Inner Self.”
 Bland.

“The Lombardi Gene: The Biological Secrets to Filling the Trophy Case of Your Heart’s Desires.”
Too sporty.

“The Butterfly Effect: Cocooning Your Way to a New You.”  
Too derivative.

And then it came 
It.  IT. 
The site were truth and falsehood
comic and cosmic
alpha and omega
fate and chance 
one and many
become more than one. 

Symmetry requires something to be symmetrical with;
and here there is only that which is it. 

The book remakes you; 
because you do not gaze into the book 
the book gazes into you.
Every nook and cranny of your soul
dusted by the chambermaid of IT.

What is its title you ask?
It’s simple: it’s nothing but a mirror. 
10AM

Songs Against Myself #2

This one is about theology and the Church.  My “jerk” was set on high…

At the conference 
the spectacled student 
walks down the auditorium aisle
taps the microphone and says:
I agree
Jesus is an undocumented immigrant
God is an egalitarian
The Spirit plays a progressive tune
Your politics 
are Jesus’ politics
are my politics.
But.
What should the Church do? 

The speaker, 
while missing only one beat 
because he was drinking his water, says:
We must write books
and hold conferences
and wear laminated name cards
and buy discount tomes
and hawk article ideas.
The Church is now.  

He waves his arms
over their heads 
and says,
It is here. 
10AM

Poetry Battle #8

Here is the next poetry battle on the topic of the Snake light.  If you don’t know what that is, here is an introduction: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc2Doeozw_M

Paul in Ten Minutes: 

Wrap me around a nearby stair
or your desk at school where you enroll
I'll light up your life with grace and flair
listen to my jingle, a hefty toll

Can a machine be made into a pet?
Could a child scratch its metallic back?
It would slither around, making scraping sounds
instead of cud, give it oily snacks

Continuing:

Would it speak in binary code
mechanical mind, quite limited
a guessing game of yes or no
would you hold it's hand with remote control

Would it worry about being sunburned
beep in pain as its color turns
screened to the shade with an oily sheen
from past maladies, programmed to learn

How far away is such a toy,
a pet or maid, under employ
is a dog or a cat so dissimilar,
robotic in diet, tail wagging in joy.

Adam:

I greet you not with the hiss of temptation
but with a jingled sonic assault—what the Germans call an “earm worm.”
Black and Decker’s unintentional stop-motion horror,
slithering and bending,
away from Eden’s foliage. 
The Snake-light promises a different sort of illumination 

Don’t bygone artisans long for me?
Maybe Michelangelo would have kept better eye-sight
painted more Sistine Chapels
by trading out his candles for my tubular effulgence.

Or Milton, blind at 43
could have written more visioned staggerings
about the Lost Paradise
with my accordion-esque presence.

I promise you more than my predecessor’s paltry trinket, knowledge,
I promise you ocular durability
Never forget:
I am not Voldermort’s final horocrux, 
but the luminescence for your late night home repair project.
May92012

Quote

The painter went down to the closet in the basement, took the can of paint he’d left, and brought it upstairs. He painted the crack till the crack disappeared. He slid the bed back to where it had been, and returned the can of paint to the closet. The man had fixed coffee.  He poured two cups and walked the painter out front. “So you’re not in your whites,” he said to the painter, who wore a pair of slacks and a button-down shirt. “I was on my way to church when you called,” said the painter. “Church,” the man said, “that’s something, that’s something…We really appreciate all that you’ve done.”  ”Not at all” said the painter, “it’s only decent. A brand new house? A nice young couple? A pit bull who acts like a Labrador retriever? A crack in the wall behind the bed oozing gel doesn’t fit in that picture-could drive a man crazy. This coffee, by the way, is completely delicious.” “Rwandan,” the man said. “Rwandan,” said the painter. 

They briefly discussed the painter’s new car, which was silver and German, a car the man was happy to see that a painter-any painter at all, and especially their painter-owned. Prior to this, he’d only seen their painter’s van. A high-performance model, this silver German car was. THe man had been poised to purchase one himself, just prior to learning that the woman was pregnant, at which point he’d settled on a rounder green car, a larger and Swedish, responsible car. He wanted, the mand did, to share with the painter, toward whom he was feeling fraternal warmth, the story of how he’d nearly bought the German car, but because his wife wasn’t far enough along yet (she’ miscarried once, and they both feared jinxing) and the story would not be much of a story if he left out the reason why he bought the Swedish car instead, the man decided no to mention it at all. He could tell it some other time. Maybe at the baptism. Yes, at the baptism. THe man would invite the painter to the baptism. He ran it by his wife at dinner that night. She agreed that the painter was a likable person, but said it wasn’t safe yet to talk about the baptism. They talked about the dog. How handsome it was. The way its muscles rippled its shiny, fawn coat.

-From Scientific American by Adam Levin

May72012

Quote

“Susan Falls hates the flying dreams.  She wakes up and she can’t walk, which is beside the point. She can’t walk when she wakes from non-flying dreams, either. The flying dreams speak of an unconscious obsession with walking, her therapist tells her.”

-From Considering the Bittersweet End of Susan Falls by Adam Levin

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